A leader's response

Greetings from Sovereign World Trust to all our friends worldwide. As we begin another year, our prayer for you is that you will experience God's help and experience his blessings as you seek to serve Him. In this teaching letter, I discuss a practical issue that confronts all leaders from time to time - coping with criticism. 

One of the most helpful books I know on the subject of leadership is by Tom Marshall, Understanding Leadership, which has a very helpful chapter on precisely this theme. Sovereign World Trust distributed this book some years ago and some of you may well have a copy. It is the sort of book that can be revisited from time to time especially in the light of experience. I would like to summarise some of the points Tom Marshall makes in that particular chapter and then add a few of my own, building on what he has written.

If you would like to do some preliminary Bible reading before reading further may I point you to: 

• Numbers 11, where the people complain to Moses and Moses complains to God. Bible characters have flaws!
• 1 Kings 12, where King Rehoboam responded badly to some criticisms relating to the way his father Solomon had treated his people (it is worth pondering on the possible character weaknesses that led Rehoboam to respond as he did).
• Acts 6:1-7, where the apostles responded to a criticism constructively (a good example of a well-founded criticism leading to a positive outcome).

Tom Marshall points out that criticism can come from various directions. It can come from opponents. It can come from outsiders. It can come from within the church - those people we are trying to lead. The most challenging and hardest to deal with is the last group. The closer people are to us the more painful it is, especially if we are looking for encouragement or support! He makes the very important point that coping with criticism goes with the job of church leadership! It is inevitable and we need to be able to cope with it.

So, why is it inevitable? He gives ten reasons why people criticise. Here is his list. It is worth giving some thought to each of these. I think this is a really helpful checklist for anyone in the firing line.

1. Leadership involves change and some find change threatening.
2. Objectives may be partially completed, and expectations may not be met.
3. Some people cannot see the whole picture. Their perspective is incomplete, especially in relation to the future.
4. Incorrect information may lead to criticism.
5. When things get tough, vision can wane.
6. Leaders sometimes overlook things or make genuine mistakes.
7. Some people have a mindset that looks for and sees problems. 
8. Some people who have been wounded by past experiences and are alert to difficulties see history repeating itself.
9. Some people criticise out of envy.
10. Criticism is easy!

So, if responding to criticism goes with the job of leadership and there are many possible reasons for it, how should leaders handle it? This is Tom Marshall's next section and the one which offers some practical help. It has five do nots and one do.

1. Do not reject it out of hand and become defensive. Consider whether the criticism has any merit.
2. Do not be discouraged.
3. Do not be demoralised, which us a stage beyond discouragement.
4. Do not be ruled by it. 
5. Do not personalise it; focus on the issue. 
6. Seek the reason behind it.

Sometimes criticism, when badly delivered can spill over or be taken as a personal attack. In his final section Tom Marshall offers four pieces of advice on how to respond to such attacks to avoid escalation into serious conflict ( Proverbs 15:1 is an example of putting these points into practice): 

1. Respond in a contrary spirit. 
2. Do not be ruled by emotions. 
3. Do not let personal disagreements become the focus for division. 
4. Show loyalty to those to whom loyalty is owed.

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I hope you will agree with me that Tom Marshall makes some very helpful points. I would like to add a few of my own, building on points one and five in his response list.

Firstly, his point about rejecting it out of hand. It is very easy to react in defence mode. But reactions are instant and are more likely to be driven by emotion than reason. It may be better in some circumstances not to offer an immediate response but rather to ask questions to find out the basis of the criticism. Having clarified what the issue is, it can be weighed against the first list of 10 reasons why people criticise. Perhaps the person is seeing something overlooked. Perhaps they have been misinformed. Perhaps they are reacting from hurt or fear. There is a well-known saying: seek first to understand and then to be understood. The most constructive way to do this is to ask questions in a tone of voice that conveys a real desire to understand the basis of the criticism.

Here is an opportunity to show the fruit of the Spirit. Love will seek the best for the other person. Peace will seek to nourish the relationship. Patience will show willingness to give the time necessary to work to a good resolution. Kindness shows in gracious speaking. Depending on the nature of the criticism, it may be a helpful thing to ask for some time to think the matter over and agree a time when it can be discussed. This is not an attempt to evade the issue but rather to take it seriously and respectfully. It may be that even if the main substance of the criticism is not justified, there is something to be learned. Perhaps there is an underlying communication failure or the need for some healing. Again depending on the nature of the criticism, it may be helpful to involve others (Matthew 18:14 which can apply informally or more formally). 

Secondly, Tom Marshall's fifth point is hugely relevant. If the criticism is personalised, it will inevitably damage the relationship. Either it will proceed in the direction of conflict or the alternative estrangement. Either way it is unproductive to try to resolve a conflict when either or both parties are emotionally aroused. There is a part of the brain dealing with anger and fear that kicks into action very rapidly. The more thoughtful and rational side of the brain is slower off the mark. It is hard to respond constructively with respect and love and self-control when we are angry. It is far better to cool down and then return to the matter. One helpful approach is to acknowledge this and to ask the person concerned to agree to a time when it can be discussed. It is the leader's responsibility to recognise if this is happening and to take the initiative.

When people are emotionally aroused, they tend of overgeneralise, 'You always', or exaggerate and choose their words badly. They are likely to say something they will regret and in fact may weaken the point they are making. When emotions are aroused the conversation becomes an argument where the parties are trying to prove they are right!

Thirdly, we need to remember that unity and peace are not things that we can take for granted. Sometimes we have to work hard to maintain them. But we have been given the Holy Spirit and we must make a conscious decision to present ourselves to God and to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. 6There is a balance here. We cannot do this in our own strength. Neither can we expect the Holy Spirit to do it for us. We must trust and rely on the Holy Spirit to help us by an act of decision proceed in an attitude to surrender and dependence. When we do this, we experience great blessing. The promise of Jesus is Blessed are the peacemakers.

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I am very aware that there is a great deal more that could be said about this and related matters. This letter and Tom Marshall's chapter on coping with criticism are based on the assumption that the leader is receiving criticism. Sometimes of course, leaders have to give constructive criticism as part of their leadership role. That is a subject for another letter. But it is worth mentioning that this is a great opportunity to model the good kind of criticism to other people. This is speaking the truth in love with humility and gentleness. 

There is also the issue of disagreeing amicably - where the criticism is noted but not accepted. There are exceptional situations when a parting of the ways is inevitable. 

To these and other matters I hope to return in the future, God willing.

Chris Moffett